May. 13th, 2009

varjosusi: (Default)
Well, probably should give at least some updates

Bit of backstory:

Back around age 10-12ish, I got bounced off a trampoline in north texas. Some of you might know what the black clay feels like in summer. Might as well be concrete.

Landed flat on my back.

As most kids go, I hurt for a few days, ignored it. Big mistake.

Skip forward to 2005ish. Working at walmart. Back starts causing problems. Get it xrayed, based on deteroration, was about 10-12 years old (and only ever had one back injury, so, fairly sure that was it).

It meant I couldn't stock at walmart, well, not very good, it caused issues. started cashiering, but that still caused issues..

Since then I've had a hard time keeping jobs. Can't lift worth a crap, pain when standing too long, etc. Lost job at sprint from bronchitis or something similar. Coughing for a minute straight sucks. Even more so when every cough brings a spasm of pain, bringing another cough.

Ended up at a grocery store again. quit there when I nearly collapsed. Went to data entry. (end of last year)

Got sick again, lost job. Got another, working for the Oklahoma Tax commission. This was april 1st.

Suffice it to say, the back pain just got worse. I was constantly in pain, at least somewhat. No position to sit in comfortably.

May 1st, I went to a chiro, leaving work at lunch. 8 hours later, pain returned. May 4th (a monday) I returned to work...then left when I went to lunch. Sat down in car and nearly passed out from pain. Lost job because I went to emergency room and never called (phones busy at emergency room).

Now, I'm looking at filing for disability. I can't even sit somewhere for very long without lortab or better painkillers. For years, I took OTC painkillers, till I stopped getting any effect, now, its just prescription strength ones.

I barely risk driving at this point. Oklahoma roads are crap (even city roads) and if I hit a bump, it HURTS. I'm afraid I'll hit a bump at some point, pass out, and kill myself...and someone else.

for the last week, I've often been in bed for 10-12 hours...and got maybe 3-4 hours sleep, in tiny increments, due to no comfortable positions.

Sometimes I wish it was over. If only so the pain would stop. And the stress, as I have pretty much no money at this point. Doesn't help that depression is hitting me hard. I end up playing Warcraft because its the only thing currently that seems to keep the depression at bay.

WTB mind upload, so I can finally trash this body.


varjosusi: (Default)

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